Month 8...Long COVID

Gratitude first:

1. I am alive.

2. I live in Hawaii.

3. Thomas Jeffrey my APRN-NP from Lincoln.

4. Lea and Jane

5. Everyone who called, texted, sent gifts, and dropped off food.

Current symptoms:

memory loss headaches earaches brain fog

can't concentrate eye pain taste impaired smell impaired

joint pain anxiety depression tooth/gum pain

I belong to a long-covid support group on Facebook. Some people have it so much worse. I never went to the hospital. My hair didn't fall out in clumps. I don't have tachycardia, I'm no longer bed-ridden, and I don't have POTS.

This Facebook group is a blessing, and it's terrifying. As my new symptoms emerge, I search the group to see if anyone else is experiencing the same. I searched "gum pain" and watched all the "hits" come back: oral erosive lichen planus, losing molars, trigeminal neuralgia, receding gums, teeth falling out, and ... I stop reading. So, I'm not alone. Gum pain is a post viral symptom. It's not helpful to wonder what it "could be." More than likely, it's just pain.

At eight months out, I am so much better than I was, but I am not recovered. I cannot concentrate. I cannot remember things I should know. I might not remember something you told me five minutes ago. I lose my thoughts mid-sentence.

I cannot drink caffeine. I am sensitive to light, sound, and heat. My sense of smell and taste are back, but they are not right. Some smells give me headaches.

I can read again. I read 40 pages of a book yesterday with moderate effort. I used to read a book a day. I mostly listen to audio books, but even this is currently impaired. I have to listen to the same sections over and over.

I am getting the Pfizer vaccine next week. My dad said, "You'll get just as sick as you were when you had Covid." On the long-covid support page lots of people have reported getting sick from the vaccine. Others reported feeling sick for a day or two, but then they felt NORMAL. They felt like they did before they ever had covid. I am not getting the vaccine, because I am afraid of getting covid again. I am getting the vaccine, because there's a slight chance I could feel normal again. That is worth the risk of feeling really sick again.